Not What It Seems
by Deathcrest
Summary: Fandral was just walking down the hall, enjoying his free afternoon, when heard something he dearly wished he hadn't.


**Disclaimer:****Thor ****belongs ****to ****Marvel. ****I ****own ****nothing ****here ****except ****the ****plot. ****No ****monetary ****amount ****is collected ****from ****this ****production**.

**AN**: _Well, __ever __since __I __encountered fanfiction __4 __years __ago,__I__'__ve __read __oneshots __like __these __and __I __just __thought__ "__Hey!__I __wanna __try__it!__"__.__So __yeah,__Thor __got __the __lucky __pick.__Anyway,__on __with __the __story._

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><p>Fandral the Dashing was just strolling down the hallways of Odin's Palace, enjoying the free afternoon. He smiled at a few ladies using his disarming grin, flirted with a few before turning down the hall to look for Thor, Sif and the remaining two members of the Warriors Three.<p>

He strode past a door, similar like so many others, until he heard the voice of Thor. Turning back, Fandral was about to burst into the room when he heard Loki's voice, too.

They were arguing, or so it seems.

"Brother, I think it's supposed to go the other way." Was Thor's voice, loud yet having a hoarse-like quality.

"Oh, and I believe you have infinite experience about this then, brother?" came Loki's sarcastic reply. Fandral sighed, things were always the same.

"This is my first time, brother, believe me." Fandral was sure, there was something off about Thor's voice. He seemed tired or exhausted or even…,Odin forbid, _aroused_.

"I feel the same way, brother. Now, shall we continue? My legs are beginning to hurt from this angle." Loki half-hissed, half-groaned.

Mother of Odin, this wasn't what Fandral was thinking, was it? If so…it was just so—

"Oh!" Thor moaned and all the blood drained from Fandral's face. Dear Hel, he shouldn't be listening to this. If he valued his life, he should just place his hands over his ears and tiptoe his way back down the ha—

"Y_ES,__BROTHER!_ That's the way! Dear Od—_OH!_" Loki's reply was just as disturbing.

_I __think __I __am __going __to __vomit __my __guts __out,_ Fandral thought.

"FANDRAL! HO, FRIEND!" Volstagg's bellow reached Fandral's ears, and the now-pale and trembling blond God snapped his head towards him, almost breaking his neck in the process.

"_Volstagg!__Shut__up,__you __enormous __fool!__" _Volstagg looked offended for a moment before realizing that Fandral was gesturing for him to quiet and to come hither. His face still set in a scowl, Volstagg stood next to Fandral and was about to ask what it was all about when the blond God pointed to the door and gestured for him to listen.

At that moment, Thor let out a moan, many octaves lower than his usual voice. At that same time, Loki also released his own howl, matching Thor's in intensity and pitch.

Volstagg stood back, raised his fist, ready to break the door down in an effort to help his friends when he heard the following words.

"**BROTHER!** _FASTER!_Dear Odin, faster, please, before I—I—_MOTHER __OF __HEL_!" Loki's voice cut through Volstagg's thoughts, and caused his ruddy cheeks to pale. It clashed violently with his fiery red hair.

"Whatever are you two doing?" Hogun the Grim popped out of nowhere, standing in between the two other Gods, his face a blank expression on it. He peered from Fandral to Volstagg, wondering what commotion they caused again.

"Hogun, dear Valhalla, listen to this." Fandral whispered fiercely, gesturing to the door of the room that housed Thor and Loki. The silent God raised a brow before leaning in at the same moment the two brothers gave out a moan that had the other brow rising up. The three wriggled in discomfort, feeling another problem _down__there_.

"Well…perhaps, I should not have wondered what you two were doing."

"Ngh, brother, _please_, stop _playing __with __me_." Loki's growl would have been scary had it not been intertwined with a cry filled with pleasure.

"But, why? It's been a long time since we have done this." Thor's hoarse voice spoke, before another groan from the Trickster god silenced it.

"Once this is through, I shall have _my_ way with _you_." Loki threatened.

Thor chuckled before there was the sound of skin-on-skin contact. "Is that all you can take, brother? Perhaps I should tone it down."

By then, the faces of the Warriors Three were paler than they had first arrived in with. Volstagg even had the urge to retch the three platters of lamb that he had eaten a while ago.

"Have you three seen Thor?" Sif's voice broke the three out of their haze of aural voyeurism.

"Uh, n-no. I didn't see h-him today." Fandral stuttered, hands balling into fists before his crotch, eyes failing to meet the Warrior Goddess's.

"Volstagg, what about you?" Sif turned to the largest of the three, though she still kept a wary gaze on the blond God, who was fidgeting beneath her glare.

"N-no, my lady." Came the hesitant reply. By then, Sif was now really suspicious. Knowing that the quietest of the three would be the one to answer her honestly, she turned to ask Hogun…

…Who was now walking away rather stiffly.

"Really!" Sif muttered. At that moment, Thor and Loki chose to exclaim their desires.

"Brother, I was _almost_," Fandral cringed at the husky tone Loki used at that word, "there."

"WHAT! Well, we have to start over again, shall we?" Thor's exhausted voice asked, though there was a hint of a smile at that.

"So soon? Oh, well then, if you insist…" Loki replied in the most lighthearted tone the others had heard in _centuries_.

_Again?_ Fandral thought with horror. Sure, Thor and Loki were Gods, and that meant superior stamina, but to go again at _that_ as soon as they had—!

_Happy thoughts, Fandral. Happy thoughts. Block out the images._

"Oh, so they're there!" Sif exclaimed, stating the obvious, before dashing into the room, ignoring the other two's protests. The door shut back, closed.

There was a tense silence before—

"Oh!" It was Sif, she sounded shocked.

"Sif! It is you!" Thor's exuberant voice was greeted with silence.

"_Apparently,__brother_." Sarcasm. That was Loki.

Fandral and Volstagg thought that Sif would burst in anger or give a shriek or roar a battle cry or do something. The silence was _really_ uncomfortable.

What they did not expect was the "Do you need help with that?"

At that, Fandral's eyes threatened to fall from their sockets. Volstagg had taken a few steps back and turned on his heels, running down the hall, a hand on his mouth.

The images were burning inside the blond God's mind. A threesome would have been excellent, Fandral believed that. However, it was _Thor_ and _Loki_ and _Sif_ who were partaking in said threesome.

They were like his brothers and sister, and imagining them in _that_ position was a recipe for vomit.

Deep in his thoughts, Fandral did not hear rest of the conversation until Loki's exasperated tone took his attention.

"Brother, _that_ does not go _there_. Idiot!"

Thor, at this, growled. "I'm _trying_, see? No need to call me an idiot."

"Boys!" Sif shouted before continuing in a lower tone. "Why don't I get in between you two and Thor, you put your hand here, and you Loki, you hold that? _Yes_, that's it."

Fandral shuddered, both curious and disturbed at the image they were making.

"Now, _move_." Sif commanded.

There was the sound of moans and grunts and cries. At every groan that Thor or Sif or Loki released, Fandral felt faint.

"This isn't working." Thor spoke, irritated.

"Clearly, brother." Loki replied, just as annoyed.

"Shut it, you two. Loki, why don't we exchange, since you are bigger than me? You stay in the middle, while Thor will be behind you and I will be at the front." Sif ordered. The sound of shuffling could be heard before Thor asked. "Ready?"

"Yes." The two spoke before there was the sound of moaning again.

"Dear _Odin_!" Loki screamed. Thor roared. "_Almost __there, __Loki_!"

Fandral, trembling, heard the sound of a telltale crash before three cries were let out. That was the last straw.

Without ado, the blond God kicked the door open.

"ASGARD HELP ME, BUT I PRAY TO ODIN THAT THIS DOES NOT R—What are you three doing?"

Sprawled across the floor was Thor, Loki and Sif. The Warrior Goddess was holding Mjolnir in her fist. The three looked beyond exhausted and were sweating quite profusely. It was like they came from a trek from Asgard to Niflheim, on foot.

Thor was gesturing to the hammer and to Loki and to the wall. Fandral turned and discovered a large crack in the pristine marble. There was also something black oozing from it.

Loki, who had been getting his breath, turned to glare at Thor before answering Fandral in a clipped voice. "My brother, you see, thought it was best to spar with me."

"So?" Fandral asked, not getting it.

"He thought it was prudent to spar with me…_with __magic_." Loki spoke, as if that explained everything. Perhaps it did, but Fandral's mind was not right at the moment, what with it being in the gutters a while ago.

His dumbfounded look caused a sigh to escape the Trickster God before he sat up and answered. "So, when he threw Mjolnir at me, I ducked, the hammer hit the wall, and I used a spell that cemented it to the wall."

Sif then continued. "Which then resulted in the two trying to pull it out."

Thor glared at Loki while speaking. "Which would not have been _necessary_ had my brother not glued it to the wall."

"Oh, you're one to talk, seeing that you _agreed_ to fight me with _magic_. If someone's to blame, then it is you and your idiotic brain!" Loki countered.

"So it's _my_ fault now?" Thor roared back.

Before Loki could snap back a reply at Thor, Fandral had ignored them by then. As he and Sif went out, Thor stayed back to help Loki clean up the mess, which was in itself weird. But, since this day had been weird, the other two just shrugged and left.

It was later when Fandral remembered that he had not asked what the two were doing when Loki had snapped at Thor about not playing with him in a really lighthearted tone.

Then, he realized again that he did not want to know.

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><p>Back in the room, Loki bent to pick up his fallen spellbook, turning the creases on the pages with careful fingers, before he felt his hips being handled with large, gentle hands.<p>

The hair at the back of his neck stood on end.

He felt his brother's larger and stronger frame pressed against his, curving up his spine, the Thunderer's golden hair tickling his ears. It was hard getting a breath what with Thor holding Loki so intimately.

Those hands left the Trickster's hips and traveled up the sides, causing a shiver to crawl up Loki's spine. Thor's fingers were gently tracing shapes on his sides.

_Odin did that feel good._

"So," His older brother's voice was husky with excitement, "where were we?"

Then, before Loki could reply, Thor had tickled him with abandon, causing a rare giggle to rise up from the younger God's mouth. At this, Thor's smile grew wider and his eyes burned with an affectionate gaze.

It was like they were back when they were young, when it was only the two of them.

Back when whenever they called each other "brother", they really meant it.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> _So, __what __**ever **__did __you __think __it __was?__You __naughty __readers, __you.__=P __Anyway, __enjoy __and __take __care! __=)_


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